tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14201947459124629582024-03-29T05:13:56.754-04:00tori marocco blogA Lifestyle, Fashion & Mommy Blog.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.comBlogger248125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-92218680598401587752019-03-20T13:33:00.001-04:002019-03-20T13:33:30.955-04:00Birth Story: Collyns Cecelia<div style="text-align: center;">
I can't even comprehend how six months ago this little cutie pie was baking in my belly. She was a surprise in every sense of the word. We were NOT planning her at all and so when that test turned pink on New Years eve 2017 we were shocked! But we were so over the moon happy because we wanted to start trying when Landree turned one, I guess God just knew better than we did. </div>
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On August 21, 2018 I woke up 37 weeks and 5 days pregnant feeling so awful. Something was just off and I couldn't put my finger on it. I was supposed to have a scheduled c section the following week so I just pushed through the day and by 6 pm I wasn't feeling any better. I had high blood pressure with Landree which is why she was born at 37 weeks as well but with her I had no symptoms. So I decided I would go to the walk in clinic down the street and get my blood pressure checked.<br />
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As soon as the nurse checked she checked like three more times because she couldn't believe how high it was. If I didn't live right down the street she wouldn't have let me drive myself home but I did so I called my OB and he said, "Head to the ER, looks like you're having a baby tonight." It all happened super fast. I was in the operating room in a matter of hours and by 11:25 pm Collyns Cecelia let out a perfect little cry and was born into the world.</div>
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She was a chubby little thing, weighing 8lbs and 7oz. I got to be with her in the recovery room for hours and it was seriously such a redeeming moment for me. I was able to cuddle her and do skin to skin and try to breastfeed. Its all kindof a blur as we got back to the room. I was losing a lot of blood and Collyns had low blood sugar so they needed to take her to the nicu and get my bleeding under control. After a lot of pain and meds later I was finally feeling normal but exhausted. I tried to get some sleep and then we went down to the nicu to see Collyns.<br />
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I was so wiped out and the second c section was nothing like my first. I was very sore and just so so tired. I just wanted to lay in bed and hold my baby. But once she was back in our room she had to be under the lights for 24 hrs because of jaundice. Finally on the last day we were both ready to be discharged and go home. I couldn't wait to see Landree and cuddle the four of us in our bed. Being away from your toddler for four nights is so heart breaking. </div>
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Landree came to the nicu to meet her sister for the first time and I just about cried the whole time because it was seriously the cutest thing ever. She was so happy and excited. She had the biggest smile on her face and was so happy to see me. She got spoiled rotten by her Mimi while we were in the hospital. It was so cute.<br />
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Once we got home we laid in bed and i feel asleep immediately because lets be real no one really sleeps in the hospital. Mark basically took care of Landree for me of the first two weeks because I was so sore and healing and couldn't lift her for two weeks. Which was so so hard. We would cuddle on the couch and in bed a lot so she didn't know the difference. Once I was home I started healing really fast which proves you NEED sleep to heal haha.<br />
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We are so smitten with our two girls. They make our whole lives and bring us so much happiness. Don't get me wrong two under two is HARD! But I totally believe it is all about perspective and you just have to keep a positive mindset with no expectations and it will all be good. I'm so tired at the end of the day but gratefully they both sleep through the night! God made them extra good sleepers cause I can't function without sleep, bless all you mamas who can, you are my heroes!<br />
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xoxo, t.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-47273194267833321272019-03-06T15:03:00.001-05:002019-03-06T15:03:12.709-05:00Family Pictures as a Family of Five<div style="text-align: center;">
The very talented Brooke of Bloom Photography took these family pictures for us in the fall for our Christmas cards. I am so excited to share them all with you. I shared a couple here and there on my IG but I wanted to share them here because she did such a wonderful job. Last thing I wanted to do three months PP was take pictures, I didn't feel comfortable or like myself at all but Brooke did such a wonderful job of making it such an easy going experience. Her editing style is my favorite and I would highly recommend her if you're in the MA/RI area.<br />
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It is beyond hard to take pictures without a very important part of our family, Jaxon. It breaks my heart a little every time we decide to do pictures and I have to think of ways to incorporate him into our photos. I had this idea after seeing a picture similar to it in an article about loss, to add a shadow of Jax to one of the pics. Brooke was so honest and asked if she could include another photographer friend to help her and they did SUCH a good job! Makes me feel like Landree knew the exact picture they would use and she's telling us, "Brother is always with us". My family of five. How I wish the picture looked so different and he was actually here with us, but this picture makes me feel like he's always right there with us, every step of the way.<br />
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Here is her info if you are looking to book with her. </div>
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She is an AMAZING wedding photographer btw.</div>
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<a href="http://www.bloomphotographyri.com/">www.bloomphotographyri.com</a></div>
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Make sure to subscribe!<br />
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xoxo, t. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-4925559975135535792019-03-04T17:02:00.000-05:002019-03-04T21:35:30.773-05:00Hello friends, its been a while.<div style="text-align: center;">
Hi, its me Tori. </div>
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So sorry its been so long since I've blogged. I promise I still have the passion in my bones but life just got really busy. When Landree was about 7 months we found out I was pregnant again and oh boy, was I sick as a dog but a healthy baby girl we named Collyns Cecelia was worth it all. </div>
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She was born August 21, 2018 at 11:25 pm weighing 8lbs 7oz. We are so in love with her, she adds the perfect amount of love to our family. We named her Collyns after the girl from the blind side and her middle name is Cecelia after Marks grandmother who everyone lovingly referred to as "peachy". </div>
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So currently my life looks a lot like chasing a 22 month old toddler around, with a 6 month old on my hip. Running my Instagram page (which i'm trying to be a lot more intentional about this year), reading my bible more and recently I started an online devotional group with you lovely ladies. Life is full and filled with all the best things. I'm still in the thick of grief and having two girls 15 months apart doesn't leave much margin for grieving but I'm trying my best to be intentional about carving out time for my mental health.<br />
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I've missed writing so much because it is seriously like therapy for me. Typing out my emotions and knowing it resonates with so many of you just fills my heart with so much joy and so I am going to TRY so hard to get back at it. Trying to do 1-2 blog posts for you guys a week. Sharing outfits, home stuff, mom stuff and all the in between. I hope you'll be apart of this awesome community of positive and encouraging woman who uplift each other. I can't wait to connect more with all of you, so follow me on instagram and subscribe with your email to get the latest posts sent straight to your inbox. Hope you all are doing well, can't believe its been a whole year since I've been on my blog. Hoping to give it a little makeover and spruce it up a bit! </div>
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xoxo, t. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-7178208173254884412017-12-23T08:57:00.000-05:002017-12-23T09:06:37.245-05:00Christmas Baby<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The other day I was listening to one of my new favorite Christmas songs "seasons" by hillsong. There is a line in the song that says, "You could have saved us in a second instead you sent a child"</div>
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Wow! So powerful to me. It made me feel like a couple of things were put into perspective for me. I've been having a rough week where I'm more then ever imaging what life would be like if Jaxon was here in my arms. I know things would have been harder and more challenging for us as a family with a medically fragile child but I wouldn't care. I constantly imagine different scenarios in which Landree would cuddle with him or kiss him or put her toys all around him, handing him one at a time.</div>
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Grief around the holidays is so painful for a lot of people. I don't want to sit here and say that loosing a child is more painful then a mother passing or a sibling or a grandparent. Its all hard, its all painful and it just plain SUCKS! You want to wrap those people in your arms and smother them with hugs and kisses and never let go. </div>
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But when I was listening to this song, I started to think about God as a father not just as our Heavenly Father but a Parent to a son. Just like me. He sent HIS son to die for me, for us and for MY son. Without God loosing his son, my son would not be healed now and a promise of eternity with him would not be possible. God could have saved us in any other way but he sent a child, He used an infant to soften peoples hearts. It brings tears to my eyes because God used a baby to soften my heart with Jaxon as well and now that I understand the Christmas story on a deeper level I am soften once again by a baby named Jesus, in a manager. </div>
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Now please don't let me get you confused I am in no way comparing my son to Jesus. I am just simply saying that God uses such small, innocent and perfect babies to make points all throughout the Bible. He did it with Moses and God did it again when he blessed Sarah and Abraham with a baby long after they should have been able to conceive, and now God does it with a women named Mary, a virgin none the less. </div>
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Children allow us to see things differently, challenge us to love in a new way and they create peace in our chaos. I am so grateful that God entrusted me with Jaxon and Landree. The minute I saw them for the first time my heart was melted and through being their mother I have experienced a relationship with God like never before. It helps me to better understand the magnitude of Mary's love for her son and for her willingness to obey God even when the future was so uncertain for her. I want to be more like Mary as a mother, I want to hear Gods voice and respond with obedience, without question.</div>
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I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that God sends little tiny people to do amazing things for His kingdom. He forms these fragile, amazing and beautiful little humans inside our wombs to remind us that He does the impossible. He delivered a savior to our world and changed humanity for the better. I am beyond words grateful for a God that big and especially being reminded of that for this Christmas weekend. </div>
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God gave me two beautiful children. He gave me two chances to have a more compassionate heart and more loving posture towards not only my family but everyone around me.</div>
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Merry Christmas sweet friends + Happy Birthday Jesus.</div>
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xoxo, t.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-3115243954089687442017-12-19T09:20:00.000-05:002017-12-19T09:20:14.429-05:00Triple Chocolate S'mores Bark for the Holidays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hey guys!</div>
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After a bunch of you messaged me on IG to share this recipe after I posted it in my stories I am super excited to share this quick and easy dessert with you all for the holidays! It took me about 15 mins total to make and you just have to let It chill in the fridge for about an hour afterwards. I will share the recipe with you guys here and its perfect to make for a holiday party if you're needing something fast. And did I mention it is delicious?! </div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-transform: uppercase;">Ingredients:</span></span></div>
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<li class="ingredient" itemprop="ingredients" style="background-position: 0px 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">24 oz dark chocolate (or milk chocolate)</span></li>
<li class="ingredient" itemprop="ingredients" style="background-position: 0px 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">8 oz white chocolate</span></li>
<li class="ingredient" itemprop="ingredients" style="background-position: 0px 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">¾ C graham crackers broken into pieces</span></li>
<li class="ingredient" itemprop="ingredients" style="background-position: 0px 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">½ C <span style="color: black;">marshmallows bits</span></span></li>
<li class="ingredient" itemprop="ingredients" style="background-position: 0px 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">2 (1.55 oz) Hershey's milk chocolate bars (or dark chocolate), broken into pieces</span></li>
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Directions:</div>
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1.<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Line a <span style="color: black;">15x10 inch cookie sheet </span>with a silicone baking mat or <span style="color: black;">parchment paper</span>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">2. Melt dark chocolate according to instructions on package, making sure to stir periodically. (I did it in the microwave)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">3. Melt white chocolate according to instructions on package, making sure to stir periodically. (I did it in the </span>microwave)</div>
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4. <span style="font-family: inherit;">Spread<span style="background-color: white;"> melted dark chocolate onto prepared cookie sheet. Spoon white chocolate over the top. Swirl white chocolate through dark chocolate using a knife</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">5. </span>Sprinkle with graham cracker pieces, marshmallow bits, and broken chocolate bars. Lightly press topping into chocolate.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">6. Place in refrigerator and allow to refrigerate for at least one hour to cool and set.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">7. Break into pieces and store in an airtight container.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Hope you enjoy this </span>and you can also put these in cute bags and give to neighbors as a gift! Tag me on IG if you make it so I can see. </div>
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xoxo, t.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-63279702605468835392017-12-14T12:47:00.001-05:002017-12-14T13:08:56.872-05:00Giving Back Holiday Gift Guide<div style="text-align: center;">
So I know every one and their brother is doing a "holiday gift guide" on their blogs right now but I thought it would be cool to do a gift guide with gifts you can give back with. Here are a few of my favorite gifts for kids, adults and everyone in between. The best part is, every one of these gifts helps give back to some form of charity. This holiday season is not all about what we get but what we give to others! </div>
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<a href="https://www.cuddleandkind.com/shop/?gclid=Cj0KCQiA38jRBRCQARIsACEqIetSM3Vr_jP_6UKsqSJY8CmGIE9DfifgYFE6Io9O4oJSWXaMALqpcCIaAj5uEALw_wcB" target="_blank">CUDDLE & KIND DOLLS</a>:</div>
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This may be my favorite gift I will share with you guys! This company is amazing and with each doll you purchase they give 10 meals to a child. Like its one of the nicest things I've ever heard about and we really don't think about going hungry unless you have been before. These dolls come in so many different options for boys and girls. Landree has <a href="https://www.cuddleandkind.com/product/sadie-the-fox/" target="_blank">Sadie the fox</a> mostly because foxes remind us of Jax and also because how cute is she? I hope you'll give one to a child in your life this Christmas season. They come in two different size options for each doll, this is the bigger version and they have a smaller one as well if you want to give it as a baby shower gift. They also make fantastic Birthday gifts! </div>
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<a href="https://www.loveyourmelon.com/?ads_cmpid=245274540&ads_adid=17661994740&ads_matchtype=e&ads_network=g&ads_creative=196255158648&utm_term=love%20your%20melon&ads_targetid=kwd-308206214073&utm_campaign=&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&ttv=2&gclid=Cj0KCQiA38jRBRCQARIsACEqIet51-UbqL8zocWeHofRB2BMzFmVMZblHkuU2sgUz7UZ7CVLJPKKGo8aAlqLEALw_wcB" target="_blank">LOVE YOUR MELON</a>:</div>
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Above is one of my close friends, Jenn (here is her <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jennkunteparker/" target="_blank">Instagram</a> if you want to follow along with her journey) who this past year found out her son has cancer and the courage her + her family have makes me certain her son will kick cancers butt! Her son Charlie (who is the cutest btw) was born the same week I had Jaxon so this hits so close to home for me. Her faith is incredible and if you're ever having a day where you need to be encouraged, this is your girl! </div>
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Love your melon is a company who sells beanies (like the one she is wearing) and they wanted to put a beanie on every kid fighting cancer! 50% of the proceeds from your purchase go to fighting pediatric cancer. I bought one for my self this year(merry Christmas to me!) and I can't wait to get it! Such a good reason to buy a beanie but they also come in tons of different colors. This is the one that I got <a href="https://www.loveyourmelon.com/collections/all/products/black-speckled-beanie1" target="_blank">HERE.</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.thehomet.com/pages/shop-all?gclid=Cj0KCQiA38jRBRCQARIsACEqIevuBh4qc3LN-YuOY0OFHy8yfVYzYJUc4zbmvTuDPdgJBPO6YYuGtKkaAlKREALw_wcB#" target="_blank">THE HOME T</a>:</div>
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I live in the smallest state in the US but since moving to <a href="https://www.thehomet.com/products/rhode-island-home-t-shirt" target="_blank">Rhode Island</a> I have found my true earthly home with my husband and my babies. I was so proud to get this shirt and represent it because each purchase helps raise money for <span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">multiple sclerosis research. <span style="font-family: inherit;">In 2013, The MS s</span></span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">ociety honored The Home T by giving them their Cause Marketing Partner of the Year award. Pretty incredible people and such an honor. This is such a cute gift idea for someone who lives in a different state as you or for you and your bestie to be twinning in. They have mens and womens shirts that come in crew neck like I'm wearing or v-neck. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/JaxxInTheBox" target="_blank">JAXX IN THE BOX</a>:</div>
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I'm definitely bias on this shop (it is run by my husband and I) but we give back to families every month that have a medically fragile child. When we were going through our journey with raising a medically fragile child we had so much help emotionally, finically and many other ways from people all around us. One specific foundation that helped us was "Go Shout Love" they are no longer in business at the moment but I will always remember what their kindness and generosity meant to me and my family and so I figured I would start a little shop and try to help some families around the country and give back. We make shirts and with every purchase we give 20% back to a medically sensitive kiddo and their family! Not only are the shirt super cute you but you can get matching ones with your kids. Whats better then that!? Click the title to be directed to the shop or you can click <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/JaxxInTheBox" target="_blank">HERE</a></div>
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<a href="https://shop.thegsf.org/" target="_blank">NEVER GIVE UP</a>:</div>
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This is another company I adore. They are raising money for SMA which is the number one genetic killer of infants. Its a horrible disease that robs families of time with their precious babies. Every case is different but I have known too many families effected by this disease. if you can make a purchase of their cute apparel and help even one child its beyond worth it, I promise you! The owners actually have a daughter who passed away from this disease so they know first hand the tragedy it causes! The slogan is something we lived by in our house hold while battling Niemann Pick Disease and every time we wore our shirts we felt like we could conquer anything. Jax constantly wore his and its the perfect gift to give someone you know fighting something hard during the holidays and reminds them to "never give up"!!!</div>
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<a href="http://www.noondaycollection.com/" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">NOONDAY</a><span style="font-family: inherit;">:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; text-align: start;">To make a difference in some of the world's most vulnerable communities, they partner with Artisan Businesses that share their passion for building a flourishing world. They develop these businesses through fair trade</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> empowering them to grow sustainably and to create dignified jobs for people who need them. Helping support people in different </span>countries<span style="font-family: inherit;"> who maybe don't have the same basic everyday things that we have or have the options to get good jobs. I heard about this organization through IF: gathering and have been obsessed ever since. I own a couple pieces and I always get compliments on them when I am wearing them. Above are the earrings I am in love with and match with so many things! I will put a link to them <a href="http://www.noondaycollection.com/shop/revelry-earrings/" target="_blank">HERE</a>. </span></span><br />
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Hope these give you some good last min gift ideas for the holidays and you can feel good about your purchases because you know you are going back in the process. As always thanks for stopping by + happy giving sweet friends! </div>
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xoxo, t. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-54505145834890131452017-12-12T10:48:00.000-05:002017-12-12T10:48:12.235-05:00Family Pictures 2017<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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These family pictures were so special to me because it was the first family photos we would take without Jaxon physically. To be honest I kind of put it off because I just miss him so much and some times I feel really guilty doing things like this without him. I wanted to be able to incorporate him into our photos this year and every year because for these photos I knew we would use them for our Christmas cards. I wanted to share them with you. We took them while we were on our trip to Denver, CO and <a href="http://jackiecooperphoto.com/" target="_blank">Jackie Cooper</a> took them and did such a beautiful job. So grateful for her eye and skills to help capture the people I love most in this world, my two beautiful children and my amazing husband! </div>
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Thanks for stopping by and I hope these help inspire another family who has lost a child to be able to see you can always have a part of them with you and its not strange or odd. It feels funny at first because they should be in your arms but having that picture with us was so emotionally honest for me because it was one of the first times in public where I felt whole because anyone looking at us would see that I had two children, not just the one in my arms. </div>
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xoxo, t.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-56581807212215702072017-12-08T15:12:00.000-05:002017-12-08T15:12:43.266-05:00Mom Style in Denver<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hey friends!</div>
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Just wanted to update you a little on life and the blog. Its been so long since I have been consistent with my posting and I want to say that I am finally going to be trying my best to do three blog posts a week. Usually Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. All while Landree is napping so I can have a little "me" time while she catches some Z's. Usually one family related post, one fashion and then maybe a recipe or home decor post here and there. I hope you guys will come check back and see whats happening over here!</div>
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This look was one I wore in Denver a little bit ago and thought it would be perfect for the chilly weather we've been having. Where its not quite cold enough for snow boots and a super heavy winter jacket. This vest is from north face and its a double sided wear so I am pretty excited about wearing the soft furry side in the colder months ahead.</div>
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I love flannel and ripped denim together but this look also has a lot of layers to it so if you're outside you can stay warm but then you can take off the vest if you're feeling toasty and enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend or its totally play date approved or even a day of running errands, where you want to look cute and put together but comfortable at the same time!</div>
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xoxo, t.</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-82874921669404250622017-12-06T09:05:00.001-05:002017-12-06T09:05:35.243-05:00Monthly dose of Lo<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Landree Olivia is seven months old! </div>
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Not quite sure how that creeped up on us but I swear every month I say this but this is my favorite age. Everyday she brings us more joy, more laughs and more love then I ever imagined possible after losing Jaxon. I constantly pinch myself that she's ours because she really is the best baby girl!</div>
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This month she is sitting up so well by herself, LOVES to be held, is in a "big girl" rear facing car seat, eats purees twice a day (mostly likes bananas and pears but I sneak veggies in there at dinner time), likes Mickey Mouse club house, obsessed with the lights on the Christmas tree, is getting into anything she can, puts everything in her mouth, laughs a lot, smiles even more, is almost 18 lbs + 25 inches long, has the chunkiest thigh rolls and biggest blue eyes! </div>
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Some of her favorite toys include: </div>
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Book that makes a crinkling noise, teething waffle, rattle and Sophie the giraffe.</div>
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Wanted to share a little entry from my journal on the night before my scheduled c section that I totally forgot about until I stumbled on it the other day, here it is:</div>
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"May 4, 2017 - As I prepare to meet my daughter tomorrow night I am overcome by great sorrow and joy all at the same time. I miss Jaxon with every fiber of my being. Some days the ache of his absence seems too much to bear and other days the memory of his smell and smile carry me into tomorrow. I believe more than anything that our loved ones communicate with us from heaven. Jax let us know right away that he wanted our happiness by giving us Landree so close to his passing. She will always be so special to me because her presence will a forever reminder of the deep love Jax has for Mark and I. I am excited beyond every other emotion to hold her in my arms, to rock her to sleep, to feed her and to sing to her. I can't wait to tell her all about her big brother and for her to grow up knowing the true protection she has, as I know she will always feel it. When I think about her my heart skips a beat because all I wanted was to be her mom. Since the moment we found out about her I dreamed of her soul and how much she will be loved. It didn't come without worry. I write this to remember that for 37 weeks and 5 days I worried. I worried whether my dream to kiss her cheeks and watch her breath in and out and snooze away in my arms would ever happen. Every pain, twinge and kick I worried. I was filled with anxious thoughts about her being taken away from us because I had to give up my son and watch his life literally slip from my hands. Grief while pregnant creates a battle within yourself that you never expected to feel. I did it all though because its worth it. Some days I was so overwhelmed with emotions I could barely get out of bed but then I remembered what a gift from God and our boy she is. We love you so much Landree Olivia and I can't wait to show you every day.'"</div>
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You are SO worth it my little ray of sunshine! Every moment with you is better than the last and to think I thought I loved you then! </div>
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xoxo, t.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-68257706316178392892017-12-04T11:25:00.000-05:002017-12-04T11:25:46.336-05:00What only pictures show<br />
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I wanted to share these pretty holiday pictures in this blog post to kind of make a point: that just because someone is smiling/happy in a picture doesn't mean they aren't sad or dealing with the weight of some very hard things. I've learned through this journey of grief not to judge myself but most importantly not to judge others. You never know the hard battle someone is facing behind closed doors, no matter how pretty their pictures on Instagram are.<br />
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A couple months ago, I was like most of you scrolling through other people and bloggers Instagram feeds, looking at all these picture perfect curated squares thinking how in the world these people are so happy? How they get their kids to cooperate so well for pictures, how they always are so impeccably dressed and how everything in their life seems well, perfect! </div>
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But then I started to think..what if someone was thinking the exact same thing about my life? What if they were struggling with fertility and saw my beautiful baby wondering when they would get theirs? What if they had a horrible fight with their husband and logged on and there was a square of the beautiful "shout out" I gave to my husband? And what if you just feel so insecure about your wardrobe and then there I am posting an #ootd of the new outfit I bought? </div>
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My point is we never know what is going on behind these pictures. We snap the moment and then the next moment can be completely different. We all are just doing our best. Remember that, no one is perfect. The perfect "mom goals" girl you follow may be battling with postpartum depression or a financial strife or maybe even a marriage that is on the verge of divorce or an eating disorder. Don't compare yourself to anyone else but you.<br />
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Wake up every day and do YOUR best, find what makes you happy and ultimately create your own beautiful life. You can keep scrolling until your fingers go numb but you will never have their life, their love or their happiness. What is meant for you is for you, no one else. Post on social media because it makes you happy not because you feel like its what everyone else is doing.<br />
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Its so important for me to teach Landree to be confident and comfortable in her unique God given gifts. To always try and be the best version of herself and try her very best to be kind to people in all different walks of life because we never know what someone is facing day to day, pictures only show one part of the story. </div>
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xoxo, t.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-18452263990084929712017-11-24T11:43:00.000-05:002017-11-24T11:43:31.479-05:00Holiday Traditions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Qjusc2sJrEE/WgNUczwRhBI/AAAAAAAAE6Y/mz7M_IyrJs8r5HG0EDhcM-5ObCxO6Ai6ACLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_1284.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="502" data-original-width="748" height="428" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Qjusc2sJrEE/WgNUczwRhBI/AAAAAAAAE6Y/mz7M_IyrJs8r5HG0EDhcM-5ObCxO6Ai6ACLcBGAs/s640/IMG_1284.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Holiday traditions are super important to my husband and I. We LOVE christmas time, we got engaged on Christmas day in 2012, we got married three days after christmas in 2013, so lets just say we like it, a lot. We want our children to grow up so excited for the holidays and this special time of year. I love everything to do with Christmas, from the tree to the stockings to the smells and the food. It has always been such a special time in my life since I was a little girl. </div>
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Now that I have kids of my own I always want to make them appreciate this time of year. Not only are the presents fun but the meaning of this year is most important of all, the birth of Jesus. Now that Jaxon is in heaven I feel like is even more important to create memories for my daughter for her to remember her big brother and to incorporate him into our holiday season. I figured I'd make a post about some special things we do this time of year, for families who have lost a child and also for families who haven't. Hope you enjoy!</div>
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ANGEL TREE: </div>
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We created a tree in Jaxons memory that we put ornaments that belonged to Jax or that were given to us for him since he passed. Every year we purchase an angel ornament to go along with the tree. Last year we put it outside and this year we are going to put in the play house we have in our back yard to protect it from the weather. You can do this with a child loss or any family member that has passed away.</div>
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MATCHING JAMMIES:</div>
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I can't wait to purchase ours for this year but both Christmass we had with Jax we did matching pajamas and it was SO much fun. We take a little Christmas picture in them and lounge around all day comfortable and cute! Some of my favorites are pajama grams, hanna andersson and target!</div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KZLlhqy6GsQ/WgNW2l3gwqI/AAAAAAAAE6k/q3aI3bmQ0yILUo_VJNO06zO1Fn2CVrItwCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2397.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KZLlhqy6GsQ/WgNW2l3gwqI/AAAAAAAAE6k/q3aI3bmQ0yILUo_VJNO06zO1Fn2CVrItwCLcBGAs/s640/IMG_2397.JPG" width="480" /></a></div>
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Jax & I in our matching Christmas penguin pjs 2014.</div>
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Christmas morning, 2015.</div>
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CHRISTMAS CARD PHOTOS:</div>
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Now I know some people get SO stressed about family pictures but don't be. It is actually a lot easier then we make it seem and I have two examples. This picture below was taken by US. No photographer, no outfit prep just us in our Matching Jammies, a string of lights and a self timer remote. It was so simple and non stress and if they didn't turn out great it was ok. It was actually one of my favorite memories with Jax because he would smile but then as soon as I say cheese he'd stop haha. </div>
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christmas card pic 2015</div>
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You can always go the more traditional route and hire a photographer or ask some one in your family to take the pictures and look on pinterest for clothing ideas and locations so you don't stress yourself out. It should be fun and its all about being able to look back at all your christmas cards to see how your family has changed and grown over the years. </div>
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christmas card 2014</div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2-zcZ0dApSI/WgNZrMfeXNI/AAAAAAAAE7E/63uMd6afSf4USLyMTuIQejRtjMORevL-ACLcBGAs/s1600/07.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2-zcZ0dApSI/WgNZrMfeXNI/AAAAAAAAE7E/63uMd6afSf4USLyMTuIQejRtjMORevL-ACLcBGAs/s640/07.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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christmas card pics 2017.</div>
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MEMORIAL CANDLE:</div>
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This is pretty simple but getting a candle to light for the whole day in memory of your loved one that has passed away or some people "save a seat" for a loved one in heaven. I think both are amazing ideas. we did the candle last year for thanksgiving and christmas. </div>
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MOVIE NIGHT:</div>
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Watching your favorite christmas movies together (maybe in your matching jammies) with some hot cocoa and treats by the fire, nothing cozier than that! a couple of our favorites are: the grinch, frosty the snow man, home alone and elf. </div>
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PRESENTS FROM HEAVEN:</div>
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I did this first with my nieces after Jax passed away. I gave them outfits from their cousin from heaven and i think it was awesome for them to get little gifts from him. I did it for our baby shower with a book from Jax to Lo all about angels. And this year for christmas I am going to get Landree and her cousins some presents from Jax from heaven. Its kindof like a second Santa for kids and adults. Knowing they are getting a special gift from heaven makes their loved one who has passed on seem present in the holiday season. </div>
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PERSONALIZED ORNAMENTS:</div>
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Every time I have a baby I make their first Christmas ornament special. I buy a plastic (or you can do glass) clear ball ornament and then I use cute sticker letters to spell out their name and the year they were born on the outside. Then I fill the inside with the hat they wore in the hospital, their id bracelet and anything else special you want (I cut up Jaxons birth announcement and put it inside his). I just think its something SO special that hopefully Landree (and our future kids) can look at and remember it throughout the years and will want to do for their kids too. </div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Xlcgo36JvtA/WgNcusiUnfI/AAAAAAAAE7Q/mqjhjssvQNgdLOXbk-urK_cxiu4JiDNqACLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_1097.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Xlcgo36JvtA/WgNcusiUnfI/AAAAAAAAE7Q/mqjhjssvQNgdLOXbk-urK_cxiu4JiDNqACLcBGAs/s640/IMG_1097.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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I hope these ideas help you make some amazing family traditions and memories this year. Please share any of yours that make an awesome holiday season. </div>
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xoxo, t.</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-56972362406335261492017-11-03T10:57:00.000-04:002017-11-03T10:57:30.131-04:00Don't be Silent<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1509128833424_2616" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: inherit;">If you know someone who has lost a child, don’t be silent. Don’t shy away from talking with them just because you don’t want to make them sad, or you don’t want to say the wrong thing or you simply don’t know what to say at all. Speak up. Send a text telling the person you are praying for them because most of the time we are too proud to ask for prayers. Leave a coffee on their porch or sweet note or gift to let them know they have crossed your mind. Be the hands and feet of Jesus, cook a meal, ask to watch their other children or ask if they need to talk or maybe just show up to give them a hug. </span></div>
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<span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1509128833424_2624" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s hard to know the right thing to do when their whole world has come crashing down around them but the best thing you can do is ASK, ask how you can love them in this season? Ask them if they need prayer or even just a hug! Ask them if they feel like talking about their child or if they would share their favorite memory of them with you. Don’t just do nothing because you feel as though you will do or say the wrong thing. True, that nothing you can say will make their pain any less but the things you DO and say can shine light back into their lives. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">When your child dies you feel like everyone else just goes on with their life and you are stuck emotionally and physically. There is no “moving on” from the death of a child there is only moving forward. And with each step we take the more painful it is because each step into a new hour, day or week is that much time further away from the last kiss or hug or moment with your child. </span></span></div>
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<span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1509128833424_2626" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Some mothers say they can never imagine what we go through but try. Try to imagine a life without your baby, your child. Even the thought of if makes you sick, right? So imagine that sickness multiplied but it’s not just a thought it’s your life. Your day to day, moment to moment life. And there is no waking up from it, it’s forever. We will never kiss or laugh or talk with our babies again on this earth. </span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But then imagine you grieving your child and you’re completely alone. No one to come along side you and hold your hand. Of course the initial days and weeks following your child’s passing people are so present and checking in and then one day it all just stops, or that’s how it feels. People go on with their lives and its not their faults because it wasn't their child who passed away. </span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But then it starts to seem that no one mentions your loss out loud, and no one says your child’s name in fear of reminding you, but I’m hear to tell you. There is no reminding us because we are ALWAYS thinking of our child. It is a song in our hearts that is on repeat and you can never make us sad by mentioning them. I am already sad and thinking about my son from the time my eyes open in the morning to the time my eye close at night. He is with me always.</span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Don't forget about the daddys too. They are told to be strong and take care of their family all while their hearts are broken and spirits crushed right along side the mamas & other siblings as well. Everyone handles grief differently but every single person who has lost a child just wants to know their loss matters to you and you see them in their hurt. That their suffering is not lost in the hustle and bustle of this busy world. Sometimes that is how it is perceived to a grieving parent, that our loss has been glanced over and that our child has been forgotten. </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ST24pQ6PN_8/WfyBRe2fesI/AAAAAAAAE6I/BNlPcj1KsHIeZzvLFwE6PLxx9ncIMzhwwCLcBGAs/s1600/13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ST24pQ6PN_8/WfyBRe2fesI/AAAAAAAAE6I/BNlPcj1KsHIeZzvLFwE6PLxx9ncIMzhwwCLcBGAs/s640/13.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://jackiecooperphoto.com/" target="_blank">Jackie Cooper Photography</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">As parents we are all part of a club. This club should come with encouraging words and friends who carry your burdens with you. We aren’t meant to walk these scary, hard roads alone. We are built for community and deep relationships that know our hearts and help heal our hurt. One of your friends will lose a parent, they will be devastated but walk with them. One of your friends will have a failing marriage that might end in divorce, be a pillar for them, hold them up, let them lean on you. And more than likely one of your friends will lose a child, whether a miscarriage, still birth, tragedy or illness. Hold their hand, don’t let them do it alone. Come along side them and carry their hurt. Don’t be silent. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."</b></span></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Galatians 6:2</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #454545; text-align: center;">This is a post that I have been trying to formulate for awhile. Every time I am about to post it I feel like I missed something but I know I need to post it in case there is someone who needs to read it. I hope you know this is just from my opinion and a couple of other angel mamas I have talked with. If there is something I've missed or a side I need to speak on please feel free to contact me and I could always do a Part 2 of this post. Thanks for stopping by.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 17pt;">xoxo,t.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-72694172675916560372017-09-26T14:53:00.001-04:002017-09-26T14:53:34.524-04:00Finding out who God really is. <div style="text-align: center;">
I remember when we were first told about Jaxons condition, people were on their knees praying for us. Praying something might change, for healing of our son, that doctors were wrong but also for God to restore us. I never really understood that prayer until lately.</div>
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When I look back to who I was three years ago and who I am now it is two totally different people. The women I am now is someone who loves deeper, sees the good in situations and who follows God fiercely in any direction he pushes me. I am a work in progress but I cherish every day because I know what one moment can change. </div>
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One day I was pushing medicines through a gtube, sticking to strict feeding schedules, quarantined inside my house and wondering if the last kiss I gave my son would be the actual LAST one here on earth. Every appointment, every piece of bad news and every day chipped away at the person I once was and molded me and shaped me into the person God wanted me to be. But it also chipped away at pieces of my self that I loved. The carefree, free spirited person I once was left me because I couldn't live life on a whim anymore. I couldn't live without fear of the future or of the next day for that matter.<br />
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But slowly, not right away but over time I noticed this feeling that I had stirring inside my heart. God was restoring my soul. He has restored pieces of me that I never thought I would get back. He has literally called me from the grave and restored my heart to love in a new way but in a way that I know is best for my life.</div>
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When you get the news that something is "wrong" with your child, whether it is something small or something life altering, it matters. It matters and that day will be etched into your heart forever. The day we found out about Jaxon's diagnosis, it was one of the hardest days of my life thus far. One thing I know for sure is that I am changed completely, who I was when Jax was diagnosed is a different person, I barely recognize that girl. Everything we have been through has forced me to have to look at the world in a different way but in some ways i am grateful for that. One thing I know for certain is that you will change through whatever trial you are facing, you will be different BUT that God will never change. Who He is before you find out news you think will break you is the same God he will be forever. </div>
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Remember this when your clutching your belly filled with a beautiful soul that you discovered is not the baby you thought, whether thats gender or health wise. </div>
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Remember this when you are clutching your child in a hospital bed with machines beeping and the smell of antiseptic filling your nose. When you aren't sure whether your child will see tomorrow or even the next hour.</div>
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Remember this when your life isn't panning out to be what you once dreamed. </div>
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God is always constant, He is the same today, tomorrow and always. </div>
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He will go before you and fight for you. </div>
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God is bigger then your fears, He is bigger then your dreams and He is bigger then any diagnosis or health concern. He will carry you through it all.</div>
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And if one day the worst comes to you. If your child lays lifeless in your arms He IS still the SAME God he has always been and you might feel lifeless as well but God will restore every inch of you.<br />
He will bring you back to life.<br />
Sometimes when you lose pieces of yourself you find out who God really is.<br />
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xoxo, t.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-42273001203880622592017-08-25T13:00:00.000-04:002017-08-25T13:06:08.938-04:00{Baby Girl Nursery}<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GQtappyQH2Q/WaBMR11MUEI/AAAAAAAAE4Q/TURbg5GdLusVoOLmY2Whzxmy_krFykiVQCLcBGAs/s1600/E97FC596-2723-49D1-8C58-4EBB2129BD8D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1281" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GQtappyQH2Q/WaBMR11MUEI/AAAAAAAAE4Q/TURbg5GdLusVoOLmY2Whzxmy_krFykiVQCLcBGAs/s640/E97FC596-2723-49D1-8C58-4EBB2129BD8D.jpg" width="512" /></a></div>
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Hi loves, this is probably one of my most ask about blog posts and so I have finally put everything together for you all. </div>
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It took me so long because I wanted to wait to see how we organized everything once Lo was here and I didn't want to add stuff and you all see it & then be like wait you didn't add that in the post. So now that we are comfortable and 100% happy with this little babes room, here it is! I will link everything for you guys at the bottom of the post. Hope you enjoy and as always if you have any questions please feel free to email me (torimaroccoblog@yahoo.com) </div>
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or follow me on IG (<a href="https://www.instagram.com/torimarocco/" target="_blank">@torimarocco</a>).</div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PyKNnwbnz6I/WaBMQjqBfbI/AAAAAAAAE4A/ioDT-_CSH5ojAQzMA-GjtujVVo-3JIqHwCLcBGAs/s1600/1A2F7E2C-E912-41EE-9962-424D7F3E3582.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1280" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PyKNnwbnz6I/WaBMQjqBfbI/AAAAAAAAE4A/ioDT-_CSH5ojAQzMA-GjtujVVo-3JIqHwCLcBGAs/s640/1A2F7E2C-E912-41EE-9962-424D7F3E3582.jpg" width="512" /></a></div>
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dsSvIOgTCF4/WaBMQhliILI/AAAAAAAAE4E/DtO-7YGCxuMOrjNMwvY7L4Gxg-CrKQ8KwCLcBGAs/s1600/40F79C1B-7126-4D74-944E-CA3F55DB53E5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1600" height="512" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dsSvIOgTCF4/WaBMQhliILI/AAAAAAAAE4E/DtO-7YGCxuMOrjNMwvY7L4Gxg-CrKQ8KwCLcBGAs/s640/40F79C1B-7126-4D74-944E-CA3F55DB53E5.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WqbaJze3mkQ/WaBMQ5LPuYI/AAAAAAAAE4I/Yd8E5672MtsfSFGgU_IWkULxwnzChrDrQCLcBGAs/s1600/A121093A-EE11-4358-9D6F-EDD4B9F51084.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1600" height="512" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WqbaJze3mkQ/WaBMQ5LPuYI/AAAAAAAAE4I/Yd8E5672MtsfSFGgU_IWkULxwnzChrDrQCLcBGAs/s640/A121093A-EE11-4358-9D6F-EDD4B9F51084.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ewQrMSxPnNM/WaBMQXEAI9I/AAAAAAAAE38/wR4V03DO6Qk6oHMT7MNtXNgMn8Z177yhQCLcBGAs/s1600/56ED3F34-31B9-45B3-8132-E6E303E28982.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1280" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ewQrMSxPnNM/WaBMQXEAI9I/AAAAAAAAE38/wR4V03DO6Qk6oHMT7MNtXNgMn8Z177yhQCLcBGAs/s640/56ED3F34-31B9-45B3-8132-E6E303E28982.jpg" width="512" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-c1aVBuv2Bvw/WaBMRuO2GSI/AAAAAAAAE4M/SOI4l3YoDegZKVYzu3cgR9tpxlofTr4kACLcBGAs/s1600/D8CDCB9F-9797-4108-B1A3-3B9BD7CB7B0C.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1280" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-c1aVBuv2Bvw/WaBMRuO2GSI/AAAAAAAAE4M/SOI4l3YoDegZKVYzu3cgR9tpxlofTr4kACLcBGAs/s640/D8CDCB9F-9797-4108-B1A3-3B9BD7CB7B0C.jpg" width="512" /></a></div>
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Crib: <a href="https://www.allmodern.com/Delta-Children--Delta-Children-Tribeca-4-in-1-Convertible-Crib-6792-027-6792-027-L371-K~DEL1946.html?csnpt=SS81-DEL1946&SSAID=687298&refid=SS687298&creative=647532653&m=11035&df=1" target="_blank">Tribeca 4 in 1 Crib</a></div>
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Rug: <a href="https://www.landofnod.com/crystal-mosaic-rug-mint/f17456?t=6&a=185&bid=5628bid" target="_blank">Land of Nod</a></div>
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Pouf: <a href="https://www.landofnod.com/faux-leather-silver-pouf/f14469?t=6&a=185&bid=5628bid" target="_blank">Land of Nod</a></div>
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Play Mat: <a href="https://www.target.com/p/skip-hop-camping-cubs-activity-gym-multi-colored/-/A-51511617?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&CPNG=PLA_Baby+Shopping&adgroup=SC_Baby&LID=700000001170770pgs&network=g&device=c&location=9002188&gclid=Cj0KCQjwlf_MBRDUARIsAD8Gj8AYQkxfF83mh0TRwzUJDK6X9yEOAaBvdLZNyyCJs6BD1x3u4P24dBkaAgyEEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds" target="_blank">Target</a></div>
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Shelves: Built by a friend</div>
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Chase your dream Sign: <a href="http://www.hobbylobby.com/Home-Decor-Frames/Decorative-Accessories/Accent-Pieces/Chase-Your-Dreams-Wood-Wall-Decor/p/80773255" target="_blank">Hobby Lobby</a></div>
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Wild and Free Teepee Picture: <a href="http://www.hobbylobby.com/Home-Decor-Frames/Mirrors-Wall-Decor/Wall-Art/Wild-Free-Teepee-Framed-Art/p/80771422" target="_blank">Hobby Lobby</a></div>
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Floral Skull Picture: <a href="http://www.hobbylobby.com/Home-Decor-Frames/Mirrors-Wall-Decor/Wall-Art/Floral-Steer-Skull-Framed-Wall-Decor/p/80771423" target="_blank">Hobby Lobby</a></div>
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Noise Machine: <a href="https://www.buybuybaby.com/store/product/aden-anais-reg-serenity-star-trade/1040740348?AID=10912892&PID=4441350&SID=%7Eis-a4jto--1678390448-_4OeznXGEl19&utm_source=rewardStyle&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=buybuyBABY+Product+Catalog&mcid=AF_CJ___2975314&source=Commission+Junction" target="_blank">Serenity Star</a></div>
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Bedding: <a href="https://www.target.com/p/crib-bedding-set-floral-fields-4pc-cloud-island-153-pink-mint/-/A-51946158?source=ir&utm_source=ir&clkid=642801bfN05ff4393ebf9bf10e7da0c1e&lnm=78775&afid=rewardStyle&ref=tgt_adv_xasd0002" target="_blank">Target</a> & <a href="https://www.target.com/p/little-unicorn-fitted-crib-sheet-watercolor-rose/-/A-52112858?source=ir&utm_source=ir&clkid=642801bfN05ff4393ebf9bf10e7da0c1e&lnm=78775&afid=rewardStyle&ref=tgt_adv_xasd0002" target="_blank">Little Unicorn</a> </div>
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Dock a Tot: <a href="http://www.thetot.com/product/dockatot-deluxe-dock/" target="_blank">Dock a Tot</a></div>
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End Table: Home Goods</div>
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Fox Doll: <a href="https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/fancy-lady-doll?cm_mmc=LS-_-affiliates-_-QFGLnEolOWg-_-9551136736&color=080&siteID=QFGLnEolOWg-2l2_KBJqQmrHt2ZGObPZUg&size=ALL&utm_campaign=QFGLnEolOWg&utm_content=9551136736&utm_medium=affiliates&utm_source=LS&utm_term=364238" target="_blank">Anthropologie</a> .</div>
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Unicorn: Target</div>
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Rocking Chair: <a href="https://www.2modern.com/products/grano-glider-recliner-with-swivel-base?awc=6692_1503679818_5c6f00ab3ed4ebc89387fe207cd4af54&utm_source=aw&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_content=rewardStyle&utm_term=Social+Content" target="_blank">Mod Mama</a>.</div>
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Pillow: <a href="https://www.target.com/p/flower-bear-throw-pillow-16-x16-pillowfort-153/-/A-50083502?source=ir&utm_source=ir&clkid=642801bfN05ff4393ebf9bf10e7da0c1e&lnm=78775&afid=rewardStyle&ref=tgt_adv_xasd0002" target="_blank">Target</a>.</div>
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Bear Picture: <a href="https://www.target.com/p/bear-framed-art-pillowfort-153/-/A-50087512?source=ir&utm_source=ir&clkid=642801bfN05ff4393ebf9bf10e7da0c1e&lnm=78775&afid=rewardStyle&ref=tgt_adv_xasd0002" target="_blank">Target</a>.</div>
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Antlers we hang her headbands on: <a href="http://www.hobbylobby.com/Home-Decor-Frames/Polyresin-Pottery/White-Antler-Jewelry-Holder-Wall-Decor/p/80764269" target="_blank">Hobby Lobby</a></div>
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Dream Catcher: Hobby Lobby</div>
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Mobile: Levtex Mobile, (<a href="https://www.buybuybaby.com/store/product/levtex-baby-anika-fox-mobile-in-pink-brown/1060537836?AID=10912892&PID=4441350&SID=%7Eis-a4jtx--1678390448-_4OeznXGEl19&utm_source=rewardStyle&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=buybuyBABY+Product+Catalog&mcid=AF_CJ___2975314&source=Commission+Junction" target="_blank">similar</a>).</div>
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Diaper Pail: <a href="https://www.overstock.com/Baby/Munchkin-Step-Diaper-Pail/14690399/product.html?AID=10654383&CID=207442&PID=4441350&SID=~is-a4jtv--1678390448-_4OeznXGEl19&TRACK=affcjfeed&cjevent=0330736603e37c3d6263cb90cb103a730734d2d268d23d72e&fp=F" target="_blank">Munchkin</a>.</div>
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Dresser:<a href="https://www.birchlane.com/Andover-Mills--Reinhold-6-Drawer-Dresser-ANDO1380-L13-K~ANDO1380.html?csnpt=SS422-ANDO1380&SSAID=687298&refid=SS687298&creative=695203902&m=11035&df=1" target="_blank"> Wayfair.</a></div>
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Wipe Warmer: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/hiccapop-Warmer-Dispenser-Holder-Changing/dp/B01LZJVSTE/ref=lp_677976011_1_2_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1503680300&sr=1-2" target="_blank">Amazon</a>.</div>
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Name Sign: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/transaction/1237002682" target="_blank">Oodles&Company via Etsy</a><br />
Ship Lap Wallpaper: <a href="https://www.wallpops.com/nu2187-shiplap-peel-and-stick-wallpaper.aspx" target="_blank">WallPops</a></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-33646563552299727302017-08-07T12:24:00.001-04:002017-08-07T12:27:15.237-04:00Trip to the Sunflower Fields.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="text-align: center;">Hi friends!</span></div>
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This past weekend was one of the best Ive had in a while. I thought the week/weekend following Jaxons angelversary I would be a complete mess but thankfully I was in a pretty good mood and although I had a couple days where the sadness encompasses me the weekend was a nice reset button for my emotions. </div>
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Grief is the pits. Whether you are grieving over the loss of your child, a pregnancy or something in your life you were hopeful for, it's the pits. One day you think you're doing ok & then BAM! you're sobbing in your closet looking for a bag but you find one of your sons socks inside it. These moments bring me to my knees and knock the breath out of my lungs. If you've lost a child you understand exactly what I'm talking about.</div>
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Its crazy to me that I can be so over the moon happy and so completely broken in the same moment. I love finding little treasures that Jaxon leaves me. I truly believe it is not a conscience when I find a sock or one of his hospital bracelets or I see a butterfly or a fox or many of the other signs he sends me. Whenever I'm having a really hard day or I can't seem to shake the funky mood there is something that reminds me of Jax randomly in the midst of my day. Some times I will be in deep prayer and just glance up at the sky and the sun will warm my cheeks in that moment & I take it as a sign that Jax is telling me, "mama, I'm ok, I love you. You're doing a great job. I'm so proud of you" </div>
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It seems silly if you've never experienced an earth altering loss like I have but unfortunately its my reality and to me it means everything. Like while we were at the sunflower fields this weekend. I love sunflowers and whenever I see them I see Jaxons spirit. Its so strange but I feel like his soul was just such a bright and beautiful one that you couldn't help but smile whenever you saw him. Thats how I feel when I look at sunflowers. While walking through the fields I was just beaming because it was truly breathtakingly beautiful, the sun was warm but there was the most refreshing breeze. Landree was smiling & butterflies were all around her. Almost clinging to her, a little hello from her big brother.</div>
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I think happiness is truly dependent upon our perspective. And my biggest life lesson from loosing Jax was to embrace life and to look for the positive no matter what. Not every day is happy for me or picture perfect like Sunday was, but I can choose to look back on these "picture perfect" moments with hope and joy in my heart knowing that I have so much love in my life even amongst the pain. Through it all God holds, no truer words have I ever typed. And just like a sunflower I will try everyday to keep my face towards the sunshine & let the shadows fall behind me.</div>
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xoxo, t. </div>
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Landrees Onesie: Old Navy, Shoes: Freshly Picked, Headband: A Little Lady Shop<br />
My Outfit; Shirt: Anthropologie, Jeans: Express, Shoes: Tory Burch, Kimono: Free People (old), Hat: Abercrombie & Fitch (old).<br />
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Sunflower Farm: Buttonwoods Farm, CT.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-82877603946544007552017-07-19T12:25:00.000-04:002017-07-19T12:25:06.117-04:00Sleeping Through The Night.<div style="text-align: center;">
So one of the questions I get asked a lot on social media is how we got Landree to sleep through the night. People who we tell she sleeps from like 10pm - 5/6 am are like shocked! but really she has pretty much been doing this since 6 weeks old. I figured I could share what works for us in hopes it could maybe help even one mom and dad or parent get a solid night of uninterrupted sleep.</div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OgmJAB-BgnI/WW-HMqOLkII/AAAAAAAAE0w/VaDkjtxwGQQC4r1rRZ1692bFvU-v_zK7wCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2964.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OgmJAB-BgnI/WW-HMqOLkII/AAAAAAAAE0w/VaDkjtxwGQQC4r1rRZ1692bFvU-v_zK7wCLcBGAs/s640/IMG_2964.JPG" width="480" /></a></div>
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Landree sleeps in a bassinet inside a dockatot next to our bed. I will link them both for you at the bottom of this post in case you are interested in purchasing them. They are both a little expensive be forewarned but I swear it works wonders with our little munchkin. </div>
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So first thing first I feel is super important is making sure your baby eats enough during the day. I know its kind of hard if they are chowing down every two hours but if they are hungry let them eat. I usually feed Landree during the day every two-three hours and sometimes she goes four. Also, make sure you are burping them really good and holding them upright for about 10-20 mins after each feed. Nothing is worse then when they are all cozy and then they wake up because they spit up! </div>
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Next, we try to keep Lo on the same routine every night. Usually around 9pm we give her a bath to help her relax (I swear by the lavender johnsons & johnsons baby wash + shampoo) then we dress her in pajamas and feed her. We take our time with the night time feeding making sure she eats until she is full, this is key! usually she eats anywhere between 21-30 oz a day (24 hr span) so we try and feed her about 5-6 oz right before bed. If your baby is a sleepy eater (Lo used to be) then I would suggest maybe feeding first and then giving your baby a bath to wake them a little and then try to feed them a little more. Again, burp burp burp! </div>
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Swaddling is going to be your best friend. Your baby might hate it but I swear it changes everything. When they are swaddled they are less likely to wake frequently throughout the night because they have a warm, comfy and secure space to sleep (just like when they were inside your womb). I know a lot of babies hate being swaddled because Landree hated it at first but once she would sleep through the night she liked it more and more every night and now she needs to be swaddled to get a good nap or sleep. </div>
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Lastly, usually Landree will fall asleep for 10/10:30 and then occasionally she will wake up at 3:30/4, If she wakes up at this time we do NOT feed her. We give her a pacifier and either rock her back to sleep or usually once the pacifier is in she drifts back to sleep. This is definitely taboo but usually they don't wake because they are hungry they usually wake because something startled them or what not but if your baby doesn't fall back asleep within the hour then I would suggest feeding them. Although, the first couple times we did this it took Landree a little bit to fall asleep but now she knows if she wakes up earlier then her 6/7 hour span she isn't hungry. You have to "sleep train" them basically. Once she wakes up she usually chugs down like 4-5 oz and then falls back asleep until like 8/9 am! </div>
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I hope this helps you guys and I am not a baby expert this is just what works for us and makes for a happier baby all day! Our little Lo does have acid reflux so she was so fussy during the day and i think half of it was due to that but it was also because she wasn't getting good sleep at night. Once we started doing this it has made a world of a difference with her during the day. She feeds better and naps better and also plays better.</div>
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Also feel free to adjust these times based on what works best for your schedule and your family.</div>
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Let me know if you have an questions! torimaroccoblog@yahoo.com</div>
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<a href="https://dockatot.com/collections/deluxe-plus/products/dockatot-deluxe-dock-pristine-white" target="_blank">DOCKATOT</a> // <a href="https://www.amazon.com/HALO-Bassinest-Swivel-Sleeper-Premiere/dp/B00JXN54DI/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1500481131&sr=8-2&keywords=halo%2Bbassinest%2Bswivel%2Bsleeper&th=1" target="_blank">HALO BASSINET</a> // <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Halo-Sleepsack-Adjustable-Swaddle-Triangles/dp/B01LAG1TKM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1500481161&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=halo+swaddle&psc=1" target="_blank">HALO SWADDLE</a> // <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Johnsons-Sleepy-Time-Baby-Items/dp/B01BGEVWKA/ref=sr_1_7_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1500481216&sr=8-7&keywords=lavender%2Bbaby%2Bwash&th=1" target="_blank">BABY WASH&SHAMPOO</a> // <a href="https://www.amazon.com/WubbaNub-WN032-Wubbanub-Infant-Pacifier/dp/B011IWWT02/ref=sr_1_3?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1500481257&sr=1-3-spons&keywords=wubbanub&psc=1&smid=A32VEP1U5Q7HGC" target="_blank">PACIFIER</a> // </div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-53577511674987429332017-07-14T18:47:00.002-04:002017-07-14T18:51:49.477-04:00My Picks for the Early Access Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2XWgjShvP-Q/WWk_TBUOTgI/AAAAAAAAEzY/DfpZNyiC6No4Kmxrv9hVfxyPxOH8DLaQgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2778.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1280" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2XWgjShvP-Q/WWk_TBUOTgI/AAAAAAAAEzY/DfpZNyiC6No4Kmxrv9hVfxyPxOH8DLaQgCLcBGAs/s640/IMG_2778.jpg" width="512" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SHIRT: <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/bp-pocket-tee/4557305?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=IVORY%20EGRET%20TAWNY%20STRIPE" target="_blank">Bp. Pocket Tee</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This shirt is so comfortable, the material is super soft and fits like a dream. Its a perfect staple for your closet and can </span>transition<span style="font-family: inherit;"> you into fall so well but pair it with some shorts and you can wear it all summer. Bonus its only like $18! </span></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BPRWtOcZTUA/WWk_TBe_GPI/AAAAAAAAEzc/z7sMqY7BFkoFTvohzsfnuhsfBMl1p10LgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2794.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1280" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BPRWtOcZTUA/WWk_TBe_GPI/AAAAAAAAEzc/z7sMqY7BFkoFTvohzsfnuhsfBMl1p10LgCLcBGAs/s640/IMG_2794.jpg" width="512" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">DRESS: <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/band-of-gypsies-faux-wrap-maxi-dress/4613184?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BLACK%2FBLUE" target="_blank">Band of Gypsies Wrap Maxi Dress</a></td></tr>
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This Dress is AMAZING! Like so amazing you better go scoop it up before you miss out. They are going like hot cakes! Its only $35, so flattering and perfect for hiding any insecurities through your mid section like I have. Also, this dress would be beyond perfect for a summer wedding and can also work for fall with a leather or suede jacket or even a cute jean one.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">DRESS: <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/leith-melange-body-con-dress/4553610?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BURGUNDY%20STEM%20HEATHER" target="_blank">Leith Melange Body-Con Dres</a>s in Black, SWEATER: <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/bp-rib-knit-cardigan/4557347?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=TAN%20DALE" target="_blank">BP. Rib Knit Cardigan</a> in Tan Dale, JACKET: <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/blanknyc-suede-moto-jacket/4685531?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=SILVER%20SCREEN" target="_blank">BLANKNYC Suede Moto Jacket</a> in Spice</td></tr>
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<span style="text-align: center;"> I wanted to show you guys this black body con dress styled a couple different ways so you could get the idea of how versatile it is. It can be worn so many ways and is the perfect length and flattering. I can't say enough good things about this dress and its not too tight or clingy to your skin. its just perfect in all the right ways. It is about $35 with your Nordstrom Card.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">TUNIC: <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/free-people-oversized-plaid-tunic/4620537?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=PEACH" target="_blank">Free People Oversized Plaid Tunic</a> in Peach</td></tr>
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Make sure to size down in this tunic because it is very oversized. I usually wear a medium in Free People clothing but I went to a small in this because I do like my stuff a little baggy but I don't want to be swimming in it. It fits so well and is just super comfy. The back is really long to, even after I sized down, so its perfect for a baby bump or even to wear with leggings and you don't have to worry about your bum showing. Its a little more pricey but I swear its totally worth it, I think it was like $65 with your nordstrom card which isn't bad for free people. </div>
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Super comfortable and so so so soft! I am all about stuff I can wear a bunch of times and I can already tell this is going to be on repeat this fall! </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xZxW4trflLE/WWk_U3oyIkI/AAAAAAAAE0A/GUqyakyYbocpQ1Gp4wMeYh7vp0DtjVyLQCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2825.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1280" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xZxW4trflLE/WWk_U3oyIkI/AAAAAAAAE0A/GUqyakyYbocpQ1Gp4wMeYh7vp0DtjVyLQCLcBGAs/s640/IMG_2825.jpg" width="512" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">CARDIGAN: <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/topshop-layered-ruffle-sleeve-cardigan/4670793?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=LILAC" target="_blank">Top Shop Layered Ruffle Sleeve Cardigan</a> in Lilac</td></tr>
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This cardigan is so pretty and it caught my eye right away. The sleeves are just so cool and purple is my favorite color so i just knew I was going to love it. Its a little intimidating some times to try new trends but I promise you this is one you have to just try because its so good. The fit is amazing and pretty true to size. I probably wouldn't wear it like this, I would most likely put on a pretty white tank top or something more dressy underneath just to kind of, well, dress is up a little (lol). It was $55 with the sale. </div>
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This is the same striped shirt I posted earlier and the ribbed cardigan I posted as well. I just wanted to show you how you can pair multiple things I got together and mix and match. Thats so important to me because I like to get a lot of use out of the things I buy. This is such a comfy and casual look and perfect for us mamas! You could even pair it with some leggings and sneakers, ready to run errands on those chilly summer/fall days! </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">DRESS: Hinge Ruffle Shift Dress</td></tr>
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This is seriously one of my favorite items I picked up at the sale. I love how it fits, it could be so cute with sandals for the summer and then booties for the fall. I can see myself wearing this a ton this fall and it would even be cute with a jacket or cardigan over it! I went up a size because the medium was just a little to snug on my mid section where I just didn't feel like it flattered me but as soon as I sized up I loved it. Please don't worry about what size you are, its really the fit that matters most! you have to be happy with how it feels and looks on you and if you can't get over the size on the tag (which no one sees btw) then you are going to miss out on living your best life in clothes that make you feel great! </div>
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I hope this little round up of all my picks helped you guys. If you have any questions you can email me (torimaroccoblog@yahoo.com) or message me on IG (@torimarocco). I would love to answer any questions you guys may have or if you just want to chat! I also know some times you can't ask friends or family if something looks good on you or flatters you (family/friends don't want to hurt your feelings) so if you want to snap me a pic of you in the outfit and want my honest opinion I'd love to help you shop! this sale is so good guys. </div>
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disclaimer: you need a Nordstrom Debit/Credit Card to shop the sale early. Also the jeans pictured are not from the sale, they are Express Mid Rise distressed jeans. </div>
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xoxo, t. </div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-44848910350558470872017-06-09T19:10:00.003-04:002017-06-11T12:25:32.417-04:00{BIRTH STORY}<div style="text-align: center;">
LANDREE OLIVIA MAROCCO</div>
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9 LBS + 8 OZ.</div>
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MAY 5TH, 2017</div>
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On May 4 I went into my weekly OB appointment at 37 weeks pregnant and was prepared to ask my doctor if I could have her the following week. My c-section was scheduled for May 17 but my body was so sore and swollen I just didn't feel right or comfortable so I figured why not ask, the worst he could say is no. But before I could even ask he said my blood pressure was a little on the high side and so he recommended delivering the baby the next day!<br />
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I was so shocked but so happy. I remember it feeling so surreal driving to the hospital the following afternoon. I was super nervous but I remember just having such a peace that everything would be ok. I know that was from God and all the prayers I prayed for this baby. Also, the ultrasound we took the day before indicated that she was more than big enough to be born early.<br />
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That afternoon we went to the hospital and checked in. We prepared ourselves for what was to come. They put me in the waiting area and told me to put on a gown and wait for the doctor to come by and talk to me about all that would happen once I was in the operating room. He came in and gave me the run down then I got my IV and just had to wait for the OR to be available.<br />
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At around 7pm we were ready to rock and roll and it was the best feeling knowing that I would be holding one of my babies in my arms soon! they took me into the OR and then Mark had to wait outside until just before they were about to cut. I was so nervous to get a spinal tap but if you're going to get a c-section and are nervous about that, DONT BE! It was absolutely painless, just felt a little prick, almost like when they take your blood.<br />
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Then they laid me down and started preparing for the surgery while I started to get numb. Within a couple mins I couldn't feel anything below my belly button. They got Mark and he sat by my head and then the doctor asked if I could feel anything and of course I couldn't. Then at 7:08pm my OB told Mark, "Come take a look dad, she's coming out" and Mark peaked over the curtain and I heard the most beautiful cry.<br />
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I Immediately started sobbing and saw how beautiful she was (even covered in all that gunk). I had waited so long to see her face and I was shocked at how much she looked like Jax. She was a lot chubbier then him but she resembled him so much in that moment I started crying even more. I know Jax made sure I knew he was present in that moment with us and from my amazing OB, to the kind nurses from start to finish, I felt him in every way.<br />
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I was so happy and filled with so much emotion in that moment. They had to take her over to the little warmer but I got to see her the whole time. She was struggling a little bit because she had a lot of fluid which is common for c-section babies. usually when a baby is being born each contraction and push the mom does helps squeeze out the amniotic fluid from their lungs but when they are born via cesarean that doesn't happen.<br />
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I knew when the nurse came over to me she was going to tell me they had to take her to the NICU and I was so scared for that because of everything we went through with Jax but I knew she was in the best hands possible and Mark was going to go with her.<br />
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I got to hold her and give her kisses before they took her down to the NICU and me to recovery (pics above). I had to wait 3 hours in recovery but I facetimed with Mark and the baby the whole time and I am so thankful for modern technology! haha.<br />
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I can't lie though when they put her on oxygen (mostly just to help her not that she really needed much at all) I had a little freak out moment/panic attack. I have PTSD from everything traumatic we went through with Jaxon and its really hard to separate the emotions when your next child has oxygen in their nose. I knew she would be fine but I was just so emotional about it. I remember I couldn't really breathe good until they took me to her after I was done in the recovery and laid her on my chest. As soon as I saw how good she was doing and how nice her nurses were I finally let out a sigh of relief and started crying all over again.<br />
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She ended up being able to come to our room within two days and was doing so awesome. Now we are home and she's already a month old! I don't even know how that happened! She's such good baby and sleeps so well but loves to be held during the day. She's chunking up rather nicely and is already over 10 lbs.<br />
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I am so grateful for her health and happiness and I thank God daily for her. Jaxon picked out the best little sister for us but we miss him so much. It doesn't erase all we went through and will never replace him or fill the HUGE hole we have in our hearts without him but she is such a sweet addition to our family.<br />
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Being a mom of two looks so entirely different then I ever imagined. I wish I had both my children in my arms but to know that some day I will makes me so happy. Although the sorrow mixed in with my joy right now is so bittersweet. I wake up everyday to this beautiful little girl but can't help but feel so sad sometimes for all the things we miss without Jax here. She will never get the physical presence of a big brother and some days that just rips my heart out and brings me to tears. But knowing that her life is a direct reflection of his in so many ways brings joy to our hearts and leaves the biggest smile on our faces.<br />
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I can't wait to see all that she is and will become.<br />
We love you so much Landree, you are our rainbow after the hardest storm of our lives but your beautiful life has given us so much to look forward to. I hope you always know how much you are loved, not just by God, your daddy and I but by your big brother, who will always protect you + watch over you.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-24605926469953832102017-03-20T15:20:00.000-04:002017-03-20T15:38:20.953-04:00{My Boho Baby Shower}<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Cake {Scrumptious INC East Greenwich} Florals {Michaels} Cake Topper {Celebration Hill Etsy} Flower Crowns {PrettyInPinkSupply via Etsy} My Flower Crown {InnocentChaosCouk via Etsy} My Dress {Show Me Your Mumu via Nordstrom} Wood Candles {Michaels} Favors {Michaels} Wood Coasters {Amazon} Picture {Hobby Lobby} Landree Olivia personalized sign {OodlesAndCompany via Etsy}</i></div>
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I'm so lucky and blessed by all the amazing people supporting Mark and I in expanding our family. I can't even believe that in a few short months I will be a mom to two perfect children. I feel so lucky even though I wish with all my heart Jaxon was there physically to celebrate with us. We added some personal touches to incorporate him into the shower and I know as he watched us celebrate he was beaming with pride. I felt him there all day and as I looked around he made me know he is always with me. </div>
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We had one white balloon for him (which we let go up to heaven for him after the shower) we also had a picture of him in his big brother shirt (we put the picture frame in Landrees nursery after the shower which is where it will stay), and lastly we had candles lit around his picture. We put all these things on the gift/cake table with a special gift from Jax to Landree, a book all about angels. If you are looking for the perfect book to explain to your younger children about their sibling in heaven it is the perfect book! we personalized it on put me in the story.</div>
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I had a really clear idea of what I wanted my shower to look like and it turned out perfectly. Shout out to my sister for the beautiful sign she made and also the small details of the personalized place settings. Everyone got a flower crown to wear and a little mason jar of chocolates to take home with them. It was such a bittersweet day but I know that I can choose joy even when things are super hard emotionally for me. I always saw Jax smile even when he was hurting so I try and live my life the same. </div>
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My shower theme was a boho floral theme. I wanted it to be super feminine and girly with little touches of her nursery too. I feel like with each baby I have I get this picture in my mind of what their soul will be like and every time I imagine Landree I can only picture a little girl who's spirit is filled with freedom and love and joy for life. And her baby shower was not only celebrating her life but all the sunshine and flowers she will add to ours :) </div>
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thanks for stopping by!</div>
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xoxo, tori.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-17629151778930897492016-12-03T15:49:00.002-05:002016-12-03T15:50:47.834-05:00BABY GIRL MAROCCO NAME REVEAL<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hi friends! </div>
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I am a really good secret keeper but I think along with knowing the gender the most exciting part for me is picking out your baby's name. Boy names were so easy for us (maybe because we already had a boy) but girl names were an entirely different story. We wanted something different and unique. Something that fit this little angel girl and felt right. So her name will be Landree Olivia Marocco. </div>
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The story behind her name is so funny actually, I always loved the name Landry (I'm a HUGE Friday Night Lights fan) but I always just associated it with a boy because that show was the only time I had heard that name. Then, one night my husband and I were watching tv, one show ended on the channel I was watching and this show called Toddlers and Tiaras came on. So of course those type of shows are a total guilty pleasure and we some how started watching. The cutest little girl was on the show, she was super sassy and with her hands on her hips she looked at the camera and said, </div>
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"Hi my name is Landree!" </div>
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As soon as my husband and I heard her name we both said "thats such a cute name for a girl!". And that was it. We knew it was the right name for our baby girl. Its so silly but now I watch that show all the time, its just so addicting haha but don't worry, our Landree will NOT be doing child pageants!</div>
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My husband and I are nick name people and love to shorten everyones name. We originally wanted to try to incorporate something to do with Jax into her name but we couldn't really find anything that felt right for us. We also know this baby is not only a gift from God but most certainly a gift from our Jax so we know she will be filled with him in so many ways because of that. In the ultrasound we had over the weekend she was sucking on her bottom lip which is something Jax always did, so we already know she will continually show us signs from her big brother. We will probably call her Lo for short because of her initials. </div>
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We can't wait to meet this little babe and I'm sure I'm going to be an emotional wreck that day! Who are we kidding? I'm an emotional wreck most days! haha! We started to buy stuff for her nursery which is so exciting but also makes me so anxious with everything we have been through. But we are choosing to trust in God and know that one day we will be holding her and cuddling her (in 5 months eeeeek!). Thank you guys so much for following along with us and for loving my two little angels like you do. We love you guys! </div>
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xoxo, t. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-87595797275782037082016-11-12T15:53:00.000-05:002016-11-12T16:02:28.843-05:00One Miracle above me and One miracle inside me.<div style="text-align: center;">
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<i>BABY MAROCCO #2 IS COMING </i></div>
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<i>MAY 2017.</i><br />
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I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would be typing these words, never mind sharing this news with you all but Jaxon is going to be a big brother! It is such a crazy blessing I can't even begin to explain it. Keeping this a secret for the past two months has been so hard but we wanted to make sure that the baby was healthy before we told everyone. And yes I said it, THE BABY IS NIEMANN PICK FREE! I wish I could shout it from the rooftops because it was so nerve wrecking not knowing if this little nugget was healthy or not. </div>
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You might be wondering how we know this but we had a test when I was 10 weeks called a CVS done to determine wether the baby had NPD or not. The test was painful and not fun at all but it was worth it for the peace of mind. We also were able to find out about any chromosomal abnormalities (everything was normal) and the gender. This baby has been prayed for so fiercely by my husband and I, we couldn't be feeling more blessed.<br />
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From the moment I found out I was pregnant I felt an overwhelming sense of peace which I can only describe as the Holy Spirit gently nudging me in knowing that He had this under control. It seems like waiting has been the story of my life but honestly it has taught me such patience. After two failed IVF transfers and Jaxons passing we have dealt with our fair share of heart break this year. We have been through so much and losing Jaxon was and is the hardest thing that I will ever go through. I miss him so much everyday and even with this amazing news that doesn't stop & never will. </div>
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We found out we were pregnant on September 14, which is Jaxons birthday. If thats not a sign sent straight from our little angel, I don't know what is. I was dreading that day with every fiber of my being but in the midst of all the sadness/joy of that day I found out that our second little miracle baby was on its way. I was shocked and I remember sobbing and praying to God that this baby would heal some of the broken places in our lives. That this baby would be healthy and God answered our prayers. That day we sent three balloons up to heaven for Jax, two with words of love written from Mark and I and one that said "Jax, you're going to be a big brother in May!" </div>
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As I let those balloons go up to the sky I knew in my heart that Jax already knows this baby. That he helped God handpick this little soul for our family and that he is spending all these nine months kissing and loving on this baby until we meet him/her earth side.<br />
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And when I say that Gods timing is perfect I don't simply mean that like the writing on a hallmark card to make you feel good, I say that with tears streaming down my face because it is the truth. He knows each breath we will take and he knew long ago that all the tears I wept over expanding our family would one day be wiped away and he would create this beautiful blessing. He would do it on His time, His way. At the beginning of the year we went through IVF to expand our family and was sure that was how we would have another baby but we conceived this baby completely naturally. I tell you this because its such an important part to the story and clearly shows how God will do things in His own time.</div>
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I don't understand why we had to lose our son. It will never make sense but thinking about never knowing Jax hurts me almost as much as losing him. I would have him in my life 1000x over even if it meant I had to say goodbye. Thats how deep my love goes for him, it stretches all the way to heaven and back. I believe deep in my heart that the day Jax went to heaven he picked out the perfect little soul for us and that he desperately wants us to be happy. </div>
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I will raise this baby talking to him/her about Jax all the time. I want them to know how their big brother is always watching out for them and that he is always around even if you can't see him. I know that their sibling relationship will be different then most but I want this baby to know all about their amazing brother and how he changed our lives forever. </div>
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I am so grateful for this blessing and also the blessing of my first baby. Jax made me a mommy and for that and SO many other reasons, him and I will forever be connected in the most special way. He has helped me have a different outlook on everything in my life and I am so lucky to be his mom forever! I can't wait to see how this next baby will change us as well and how they will shine a bright light into our family.<br />
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I hope that if you're going through something similar like we have/are going through you understand that I know your hurt. Our pain might be different, brokenness isn't the same as the person next to us but I can promise you this, you will be happy again one day. It will be accompanied by deep sadness and heart ache and it won't be easy but I promise your angel will give you reasons to smile. And though it will never ease the hurt of not having them and let me be perfectly clear when I say that no other baby can or will ever replace Jaxon, ever.</div>
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And if you are struggling to get pregnant please know that I know how much it hurts your heart when you see another pregnancy announcement because Ive been there. You are happy for that person but inside you're wondering where your baby is. There is nothing wrong with these feelings and they are completely natural. But try your best and fully honor the person because when its your turn you would want the same from them. I promise you, your baby is coming. I don't know if its 1 year, 1 month or 1 day from now or maybe 5 years from now but it will happen. Don't try to rush Gods timing. Its perfect and when you look back in the rear view mirror all your hurt from infertility and failed procedures will all make sense to you. Its hard to see it clearly now but one day you will and until then pray, pray hard and harder even when it seems pointless I promise you its not. Don't give up. </div>
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xoxo, t.</div>
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^We bought this shirt for Jax after we found out we were pregnant from IVF in June but it ended up being a chemical pregnancy which made the pregnancy test read a false positive. But without that heart break we wouldn't have this amazing picture. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-33692252152993842082016-11-03T14:06:00.003-04:002016-11-03T14:07:28.934-04:00Cozy Fall Thermal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hiiii Friends!</div>
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I just wanted to quickly share my feelings for a min here. I love that my blog can be a post with pictures about fashion but the context can be about something totally different. I don't think my blog should have to fit into a mold that other blogs do and that makes me happy, I hope it makes you want to visit often as well!</div>
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I think a lot of my life right now is about taking care of me. Which is super strange because after taking care of my medically fragile son for two years and it being 99% about him, its hard to make the switch into caring for yourself again. Ive been trying to find a balance of pushing myself to fully live life and giving myself a ton of grace with doing nothing at all. I feel weird to tell you the truth. I feel as though I haven't quite found my "thing" yet. The thing I am most passionate about doing day to day. For so long that was being a mother and still is but is hard to do without a child to care for. </div>
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To be honest, it makes you feel purposeless. You go from being someones everything to one day and very abruptly that little person not needing you at all anymore. For me its different then a mom who sends their child to daycare for the first time or off to college, my baby will never again be held or need anything from me again on this earth. Its a soul crushing realization to come to but the smallest more mature part of me realizes that with not caring for Jaxon anymore here on earth also means that he is healed, he is happy and he is at peace in heaven. </div>
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From the moment your child is placed in your arms you make every choice to make them happy and to care for them so I know it is beyond natural for me to feel as though life without Jax here on earth doesn't make sense because for me it doesn't. It probably never will. I will forever search for answers to why my son? But I also know one day, I will know the answer and I will get to hold my son again. I will get to live all my days in full happiness with God and thats something that makes being here on earth without Jax seem a little less painful.</div>
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Grief is the strangest feeling. Especially grieving for a child. Its a mixture of gut wrenching pain and physical/mental exhaustion. My days stem from clinging to any bit of him. Whether its a song on the radio, the smell of his clothes or casually and desperately bringing him up in every conversation just to hear his name aloud. Its a feeling that I can never really explain and a way of life I hope no one ever has to walk along side me in. It makes the most mundane tasks feel impossible and the shortest distance seem so far away. I never wanted to be here. I never wanted to have to close my eyes while grasping my sons pillow and placing it under my nose just to be able to smell him again because that is the only way I can physically feel close to him. </div>
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Jaxon was the greatest friend I ever had, his soul was one that left lasting imprints around our home and always will. I can't walk into a room without feeling his presence. I will spend my days speaking of him and telling people about him because its the best way I know to share his love. Parents in grieving have an invisible cloak that they wear. Its a cloak made of the strongest of loves, the sweetest of smells and the most agonizing pain imaginable. It is one that is not seen to people who have not lost their child but is so obvious to all of us who have. I wear my cloak with pride because its one that shares of my story, my pain and more importantly represents the amazing life of my son. And even though I know most days its the heaviest garment to wear I know that because I wear it his life will continue to be one of great significance to not just me but others as well. </div>
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"Know that where there is great pain, there is even greater love."</div>
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-scribbles + crumbs</div>
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xoxo, t. </div>
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What I'm wearing:</div>
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THERMAL: Free People // UNDER SHIRT: Gunny Sack & Co. // JEANS: Paige Denim via Nordstrom Rack // BOOTIES: Target // BAG: Valentino // NECKLACE: Anthropologie & Tiffany + Co. // NAIL POLISH: OPI Miami Beet //</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-73080156388512155532016-10-20T12:59:00.002-04:002016-10-20T15:40:10.493-04:00Fall Plaid Dress. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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What I'm wearing:<br />
DRESS: <a href="https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/fringed-plaid-buttondown-dress?category=dresses-casual-everyday&color=049" target="_blank">Anthropologie</a> <a href="https://www.lulus.com/products/olive-oak-glamping-grounds-burgundy-plaid-long-sleeve-dress/381662.html?gclid=CjwKEAjw1qHABRDU9qaXs4rtiS0SJADNzJisfarTtvluUId66CRWqZLsVTuLHflSEEgKIp3rU6fVgxoCNijw_wcB" target="_blank">Similar Dress</a> // BAG: <a href="http://us.louisvuitton.com/eng-us/products/neverfull-gm-damier-ebene-008115" target="_blank">Louis Vuitton</a> // SHOES: <a href="https://www.psiadoreyou.com/" target="_blank">Ps I Adore You</a> //<br />
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Hey friends!</div>
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Gosh, its been so long since I did an outfit post. I feel like fashion definitely has taken a back seat in my life the past two years but its always been something that I love. Right now I'm actually in the process of cleaning my closet (monkey with hands over eyes emoji). Eventually I'm going to get my closet redone and make it easier to organize but for now I'm going to have to tackle that mess! Haha. </div>
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Life has really been tough for me these past three months. But I'm really trying my best to continue doing things that are life giving to me. Its so strange to get up, get dressed and function everyday but I promised Jax that I would. I know there are days when I am going to crawl under the covers and not brush my teeth or shower all day but thats ok (and believe me when I say that happens a lot). People will always comment on how "strong" I am but I'm really not. I'm cut from the same cloth as everyone else but Jaxon just changed me, to the core. He made me a better person, a stronger woman and a more appreciative mom. </div>
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There is a lot going on in the next couple of months. Last weekend we were in Denver, Colorado (which was so amazing). We had the best time, even though we wished we could have been there longer but other than that it was so awesome. It was such a healing experience for both my husband and I. Being able to hug, talk to and just be near people who knew our exact pain because their children also passed away from Niemann-Pick Disease Type A. I definitely had an emotional hangover Monday morning but I was so happy we went. </div>
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We have a couple more personal things coming up that I can't really speak on (maybe one day) but please send some good vibes and prayers our way. Halloween is going to suck, sorry not sorry. Just being honest. We loved getting Jax all dressed up and so seeing other families trick or treating is going to be so HARD! Thanksgiving, the first holiday without Jax & I'm feeling sick to my stomach thinking about that day and how much my heart and arms will ache for him. Then, for Christmas/our wedding anniversary we will be going to Hawaii which we are so beyond excited. We always promised Jax that Mark and I would take a trip just the two of us and explore Hawaii so we are keeping that promise too. We also really didn't want to be here this Christmas, feeling like it will be WAY too much and emotionally exhausting for us. Not having Jax here physically is nothing short of the worst thing ever but we are trying. Thank you for all the continued support for us in this very difficult time.</div>
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Ok, onto this outfit. This flannel dress is such a perfect way to transition into fall. The weather in New England has been more like Summer than Fall lately so this dress was perfect for a lunch date with one of my friends the other day. These booties I purchased last year but I will find similar ones for you guys. I also am going to link cheaper versions of everything in my outfit posts for those of you on a budget or those of you who want to expand your wardrobe without spending a fortune! I hope you all enjoy your Thursday :)</div>
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xoxo, t. </div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-90809634547348921302016-09-09T15:53:00.002-04:002016-09-09T15:55:48.627-04:00A New Blog Name.<div style="text-align: center;">
Hi friends. </div>
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I just wanted to take a second and say a huge thank you! From the bottom of my heart for all the words of love and prayers for Jaxon and our family over the past two years. As most of you know, Jaxon passed away peacefully in my arms on July 30th. It was the worst day of mine and my husbands life and the pain is still so raw. I know there will never be a day that I don't miss him or wish he was back with us. There is some peace for us in knowing that Jax is now healed in heaven & will never know suffering again. He is in our Heavenly Fathers arms. It will never be ok for us but one day we will be with him again! </div>
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As you might be able to see the blog name has changed from <i>exploratorifashion</i> to <b style="font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline;">Tori Marocco</b> and there is a special reason for this. Back when I started my blog, I only was expecting for it to be fashion and beauty based but Gods plan was so much greater. I've been meaning to change it for a couple of months now but I put it on the back burner due to everything happening with Jax. I felt like now would be a good time to change it and have a fresh start to honor Jax with getting back into blogging. My blog is like a personal journal and has been such a healing part for my life for some time now. </div>
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I am so grateful to all of my followers and am going to use this blog as a way to honor my son. Maybe, one mom or women who is going through something similar to us or someone who has a completely different trial they are experiencing will find some comfort that they are not alone. I want to come beside you all who are struggling and help you by sharing my grief process and our life. Everyday we go forward without our sweet baby is painful, it is the hardest choice everyday to get up and push through but we do it. My son taught me more than I will ever teach him. He is my hero and I want my life to be a reflection on all he has taught me and the love that he overwhelms us with still to this day. </div>
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I miss Jax more than I could ever put into words and I am allowing myself space and time to grieve. I truly believe no time will pass that can make this "ok" or "better" for us but I will try everyday to make my son proud. Wether that means I lay in bed and cry all day (which is a lot these days) or I am out and about breathing in all this life has for me, I'm doing it all for Jax. We have gone through the worst tragedy imaginable and from the inside looking out it is unexplainable. But I am going to try. As part of my healing process I write a lot and so I hope by sharing it helps even one person. </div>
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Again, thank you for coming alongside me in this journey and as our journey continues. Being a mom looks very different than I ever imagined but that is ok. I will make sure that I continue to have Jaxon live on through all I do and through our future children as well. Jax will always be the best thing that ever has happened to me because he made me a mom (as well as many other reasons). Our bond will continue forever and I know that no amount of time can erase what we have. He will always be the reason I smile, the depth of my laugh and the salt in my tears. He is present in every moment of everyday for us and will always be. </div>
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xoxo, Tori. </div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1420194745912462958.post-80189146782514725632016-07-25T11:05:00.002-04:002016-07-25T11:08:56.893-04:00Your mind is a garden.<div style="text-align: center;">
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">"Your mind is a garden.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Your thoughts are your seeds.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">You can grow <b><u>flowers</u></b> or you can grow weeds."</span></i></div>
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People always seem to ask me how I remain so positive and happy when the world around me is falling apart. You might not understand how I can go outside, smile and enjoy our days when my son is slowly dying. But living our life to the fullest is the best choice we can make everyday for our son. </div>
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<i>We don't get a choice of the life we are given but we are given the choice of how we live that life.</i> I make the hardest choice everyday when my eyes open to begin another day. I choose to wake up and be grateful for another day. Another day with our son, another day to live and love well. Thats a choice that may seem easy but if you've ever been paralyzed with a terminal diagnosis of a family member like we have you know that its harder to be happy then sad. Sadness is what you feel everyday and its the easiest emotion thus far in our journey. </div>
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I honestly hope that our story brings awareness to people. From the girl who wants a family so badly, to the under appreciated mom, to the hard working single mother, to the adoring wife who's marriage isn't all she dreamed it would be, to the over worked + over tired woman. I want to make them aware that life is full of disappointments, hardships and devastation but it can only detour you from happiness and living a full life as much as you let it. I know its hard to think that way but when you plant the right seeds in your mind you will grow flowers of love, restoration, patience and above all else true happiness. </div>
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Not everyday is going to be puppies and unicorns. Most days are going to be excruciating. Most days will seem unbearable but there is tomorrow. Its completely OK to be sad, unhappy and melancholy but just DON'T STAY THERE. Have your day(s) to be sad because its SO healthy and healing, but pick yourself back up and remind yourself that it will get better. I always say, "I may never be 'OK' again but I will learn to live a life thats a different happy then I lived before."</div>
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From the day my son was diagnosed with Niemann Pick Disease we could have chosen to live a life that revolved around it. To stay inside and hide from the world. To not see the sunshine or swim in the pool or shop are hearts out at Target. But what would that of solved? Being depressed isn't going to find a cure for my son. Being sad and crying 24/7 would only be a disservice to my beautiful boy. He has gone more places, done more things and changed more lives in less than two years than most people will in their entire lifetime. </div>
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Everything about my sons life is happiness. He is pure love and I want to show him that what he puts out into the world is what you get back. So everyday we wake up and give him happy, we give him love, kisses and hugs. We give him sunshine and pool days. We give him hope. Because all anyone deserves is a life full of golden days. I hope if one thing good can come from our journey is that you learn how to make your day better than yesterday. That our <b><i>golden boy</i></b> can add something beautiful to your life because he has over flowed ours with the beauty of his life! </div>
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xoxo, T.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10135244181239783572noreply@blogger.com0