SOCIAL MEDIA

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

18 months of miracles.


18 months of loving on this sweet boy.
18 months of kissing every inch of him.
18 months of heart expanding love.
18 months of joy.
18 months of hope.
18 months of intense emotions.
18 months of trying to get this mom thing.
18 months of faith.
18 months of miracles upon miracles.

Our miracle might look a little different than I would like. My husband and I pray for a very specific miracle day in and day out. For Jaxon to be completely healed of his disease and for him to live a long and happy life. But I can't deny that just because the miracle we want hasn't happened doesn't mean it won't and also doesn't mean that other things aren't miracles. His life is a miracle, his smile and everything this he is, IS a miracle. He is 18 months as of the 14th and when Jax was diagnosed with Niemann Pick disease they told us that he most likely wouldn't live to be 18 months. BUT here he is. That is a miracle I am not going to down play just because there is something else I'm hoping for. I will always choose to be joyful in hope (romans 12:12). I refuse to let my grief over take my joy. I will always make sure I am living for today and showing my son that joy & hope go hand and hand.

As always, thank you for taking the time to stop by.

xoxo, tori.
Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Our IVF/PGD Journey.

Hi my loves!

I hope all of you are doing well. I have been getting a lot of questions since I posted last about giving you guys more detail about our journey with IVF and PGD. So Im going to try to make this post not SUPER long but I can't make any promises because its a lot of information. So, lets dive right in!

When Jax was first born Mark (my husband) and I were so happy to be parents. We loved it so much that we knew when Jax was like two months old that we didn't want to wait years to have another baby. We figured we wanted to start trying to get pregnant again when Jax was about a year old. We would try the good old fashion way, but when Jax was diagnosed they told us it was genetic. Not a freak thing but actually something that had a chance of happening every time we tried to have a baby. The exact numbers were 25% chance of having a baby with Niemann-Pick Disease Type A. This was devastating to us. We always wanted a big family but now we were thinking that might never happen for us.



We got introduced to IVF through our genetic doctor and she started exampling what PGD was. So lets start with the basics because before I ever started this process all the terms made NO sense to me.  IVF {In Vitro Fertilization}  is defined as the process of fertilization by manually combining an egg and sperm in a laboratory dish, and then transferring the embryo to the uterus. PGD {Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis} is basically after the eggs have been fertilized the lab is able to biopsy the embryos to test them for the specific genetic disease they are looking for before implanting into the uterus. 

I started the process by going to meet the doctors. A lot of blood work + ultrasounds. Then once all my levels were normal we were given the go ahead to start the medications in December. I started taking a shot every morning that basically turned off my ovaries. Then I went in to get more blood work and ultrasounds. Then they told me to keep taking the shot in the morning but also add in a shot at night that would help me produce a lot a lot of eggs. Usually your ovaries only produce 1 egg each. I went in every day for a little over a week to help monitor how many eggs I had. The ultrasounds became more painful overtime {they were internal ultrasounds + my ovaries were so enlarged because I had SO many eggs it was very uncomfortable}. 

Finally I went in one morning and they counted I think 10 eggs on one ovary and 11 on the other. They told me to come in the morning and I would be put under general anesthesia and have the retrieval of my eggs procedure. I went in at like 6:20 on a Saturday morning more nervous then I ever was. I was so scared and didn't know what to expect but I was just so happy that I was able to do it and had so many eggs. Mark had to give a sample so he wasn't allowed to come back with me which made it even more nerve wrecking. They gave me something to help calm my nerves and then put me to sleep. After I woke up from the procedure I was in a lot of pain. They gave me some pain medication to go home with and it made it bearable but I was still in pain for about 3 days. 

They ended up retrieving 31 eggs {WOW I only thought i had 21}!! I am so grateful and shocked that I had that many. Of course all of them weren't able to be fertilized. They were able to fertilize 24 eggs. They called us everyday for 5 days to let us know how many survived each day and how many didn't. Because they were letting the fertilized eggs grow in a pea-tree dish for 5 days. They then biopsied them {PGD} and sent the cells  from the embryos to the genetic testing facility to test them for Neimann Pick. Then they froze all the embryos that survived the five days, which we ended up with 9 embryos on day 5! God is so good! 

We got our results back from the embryos... Now let me say that my husband and I had internal battles with our selfs wondering if IVF was the right route for us and if it was what God wanted us to do. We didn't really know if we were making the right choice because what if the 25% {vs 3% chance  of NPA using IVF} was just a number and didn't really mean anything if we had a baby on our own. We prayed and prayed waiting for the results of the embryos. 4 embryos had Niemann pick disease, 3 did not have the disease and 2 are carriers of Niemann Pick Disease like my husband and I are. Clearly, we made the right choice because more than 25% were effected by the disease. Knowing these numbers made us so confident in our decision and made us realize that if we had tried on our own we most likely would have had another child with this horrific disease. 

We are so happy to be able to have the chance to be parents again. Now we are just waiting for a couple things and hopefully we will be expecting another little babe before this year is over :) A question a lot of you had is if we are implanting more than one embryo at a time and the answer is NO. we are only implanting one at a time for a couple reasons. One, I have diabetes and am already considered a "high" risk pregnancy and don't want to make it any more high risk. Number two, I delivered Jax at 35 weeks and that might be considered "ok" for one baby but for multiples its NOT safe! If God decides to give us multiples with one embryo than that is his doing but we will not be implanting more than one. 

Thank you guys so much for being so kind and I am so hopeful for the next chapter in our lives. As you know if you follow my blog, I do have a history of miscarriages so we will be keeping it under wraps for my first trimester and NO I am NOT pregnant right now! But if you think of it will you keep my family in your prayers. We are so wishing that Jaxon will be able to meet his siblings and be the best big brother ever {which we know he will!} Also pray for Gods miracle of total healing here on earth with his family. We are so blessed to be chosen as his parents and he has made our lives filled with more joy, love and life then we could ever put into words. 




If you have ANY questions feel free to email me victoriamarocco@yahoo.com and make sure to follow me on IG to keep up with my family and I! 

Lots of love!
xoxo, Tori. 

ps. I just want to say for all you mamas out there or women who are wanting so badly to be pregnant, I know how you feel and I pray for your hearts and your wombs! Trust in God and know that his plan is so much greater than you could ever imagine. He is FOR you. He loves you and wants only the best for you. Trust in his promises and his truths! That is what will make all the tears, loneliness, frustration, jealousy and yearning worth it. DON'T LOSE HOPE! and if you ever need someone to talk to, vent to or just ramble your thoughts to I am only an email away!