| THE MIDDLE |

Happy Monday my lovely friends! 

I hope you all had a fantastic weekend + thank you for stopping by! 

So if you follow me on Instagram you might have seen my recent post about the tattoos my husband and I got for Jaxon. There was a lot of thought behind the symbolism of these tattoos for us. It wasn't a quick choice or something we didn't contemplate long and hard because we did. If you don't like tattoos this post probably isn't for you and I would greatly appreciate keeping your comments to yourself considering this was a very personal and sentimental decision for my husband and I, thank you. 

I guess we really started to consider getting tattoos of Jax's name after he was diagnosed with his Niemann-Pick but more recently as my husband Mark and I really considered this season in our lives.  I have three tattoos, now four and this was my hubby's first one. He was so brave and said it didn't even hurt! My wife heart oozes with pride for him, even with something so silly as a tattoo :) 

For a while now we have really been stuck in the middle. This season of our life can only really be defined as "the middle". There was such a beautiful beginning with my husband and I. Then we had Jax and a new season began, and that was more beautiful then I could ever imagine. And now I would consider this season a new one with all that has happened with Jax and his illness. Though I don't want it to define our lives, it has snuck its way in there. 

"You see, the middle isn't just a place of pain. Its a place of possibility. That middle ground is fertile soil for flourishing faith. The middle is where we decide what we believe about Jesus-- regardless of out circumstances." (Alicia Bruxvoort)

We may not know what the future holds and I'm ok with that. I have learned to love this middle that we are in. No matter what Gods plan for Jaxon is. Families are forever and so is this tattoo. It will always be a constant reminder for us of the love Jaxon has made us experience, the amazing soul he is and that Gods plan is perfect. He has placed us in this life with these circumstances and however "not fair" they feel, I will learn to love them. I will always love my son and I will always love my God. 

We could chose to let our middle shake our faith and question God, but we aren't. Our faith is our constant and I know Jesus is walking this road with us. Each turn and curve he is right beside us igniting our hearts with a fire of his promises. I truly believe that if we keep our faith and hold tight to his word we will be shown the glory of God through this horrific middle.

"Didin't I tell you that if you believed, you would see the Glory of God?"
(John 11: 40b, MSG)

"Do you see it now? We don't survive the middle by rewriting the story; we survive it by anchoring our hope to the One who has already scripted the perfect ending. There will come a day when no one will be stuck in the middle, with no more tears and no more pain. (Revelation 21: 3-5)" -AB

I am so grateful for a husband who lets me cry and vent and loves me even when I ugly cry! Our marriage is one, like most, that requires constant attention and work. We strive to create the best marriage possible. We don't sit back and watch the other one struggle, we do life together and that is totally by the grace of God. His divine intervention in my marriage is one I will never take for granted! 

So try to love your middle. We are all in this "layover" or "resting place" until we are able to have our forever ending with Jesus, in heaven, the best ending possible. Make the most of the middle you have been given.
All my love,
Tori.