Monday, July 25, 2016

Your mind is a garden.

"Your mind is a garden.
Your thoughts are your seeds.
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds."

People always seem to ask me how I remain so positive and happy when the world around me is falling apart. You might not understand how I can go outside, smile and enjoy our days when my son is slowly dying. But living our life to the fullest is the best choice we can make everyday for our son. 

We don't get a choice of the life we are given but we are given the choice of how we live that life. I make the hardest choice everyday when my eyes open to begin another day. I choose to wake up and be grateful for another day. Another day with our son, another day to live and love well. Thats a choice that may seem easy but if you've ever been paralyzed with a terminal diagnosis of a family member like we have you know that its harder to be happy then sad. Sadness is what you feel everyday and its the easiest emotion thus far in our journey. 

I honestly hope that our story brings awareness to people. From the girl who wants a family so badly, to the under appreciated mom, to the hard working single mother, to the adoring wife who's marriage isn't all she dreamed it would be, to the over worked + over tired woman. I want to make them aware that life is full of disappointments, hardships and devastation but it can only detour you from happiness and living a full life as much as you let it. I know its hard to think that way but when you plant the right seeds in your mind you will grow flowers of love, restoration, patience and above all else true happiness. 

Not everyday is going to be puppies and unicorns. Most days are going to be excruciating. Most days will seem unbearable but there is tomorrow. Its completely OK to be sad, unhappy and melancholy but just DON'T STAY THERE. Have your day(s) to be sad because its SO healthy and healing, but pick yourself back up and remind yourself that it will get better. I always say, "I may never be 'OK' again but I will learn to live a life thats a different happy then I lived before."

From the day my son was diagnosed with Niemann Pick Disease we could have chosen to live a life that revolved around it. To stay inside and hide from the world. To not see the sunshine or swim in the pool or shop are hearts out at Target. But what would that of solved? Being depressed isn't going to find a cure for my son. Being sad and crying 24/7 would only be a disservice to my beautiful boy. He has gone more places, done more things and changed more lives in less than two years than most people will in their entire lifetime. 

Everything about my sons life is happiness. He is pure love and I want to show him that what he puts out into the world is what you get back. So everyday we wake up and give him happy, we give him love, kisses and hugs. We give him sunshine and pool days. We give him hope. Because all anyone deserves is a life full of golden days. I hope if one thing good can come from our journey is that you learn how to make your day better than yesterday. That our golden boy can add something beautiful to your life because he has over flowed ours with the beauty of his life! 

xoxo, T.

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