Friday, September 9, 2016

A New Blog Name.

Hi friends. 

I just wanted to take a second and say a huge thank you! From the bottom of my heart for all the words of love and prayers for Jaxon and our family over the past two years. As most of you know, Jaxon passed away peacefully in my arms on July 30th. It was the worst day of mine and my husbands life and the pain is still so raw. I know there will never be a day that I don't miss him or wish he was back with us. There is some peace for us in knowing that Jax is now healed in heaven & will never know suffering again. He is in our Heavenly Fathers arms. It will never be ok for us but one day we will be with him again! 

As you might be able to see the blog name has changed from exploratorifashion to Tori Marocco and there is a special reason for this. Back when I started my blog, I only was expecting for it to be fashion and beauty based but Gods plan was so much greater. I've been meaning to change it for a couple of months now but I put it on the back burner due to everything happening with Jax. I felt like now would be a good time to change it and have a fresh start to honor Jax with getting back into blogging. My blog is like a personal journal and has been such a healing part for my life for some time now. 

I am so grateful to all of my followers and am going to use this blog as a way to honor my son. Maybe, one mom or women who is going through something similar to us or someone who has a completely different trial they are experiencing will find some comfort that they are not alone. I want to come beside you all who are struggling and help you by sharing my grief process and our life. Everyday we go forward without our sweet baby is painful, it is the hardest choice everyday to get up and push through but we do it. My son taught me more than I will ever teach him. He is my hero and I want my life to be a reflection on all he has taught me and the love that he overwhelms us with still to this day. 

I miss Jax more than I could ever put into words and I am allowing myself space and time to grieve. I truly believe no time will pass that can make this "ok" or "better" for us but I will try everyday to make my son proud. Wether that means I lay in bed and cry all day (which is a lot these days) or I am out and about breathing in all this life has for me, I'm doing it all for Jax. We have gone through the worst tragedy imaginable and from the inside looking out it is unexplainable. But I am going to try. As part of my healing process I write a lot and so I hope by sharing it helps even one person. 

Again, thank you for coming alongside me in this journey and as our journey continues. Being a mom looks very different than I ever imagined but that is ok. I will make sure that I continue to have Jaxon live on through all I do and through our future children as well. Jax will always be the best thing that ever has happened to me because he made me a mom (as well as many other reasons). Our bond will continue forever and I know that no amount of time can erase what we have. He will always be the reason I smile, the depth of my laugh and the salt in my tears. He is present in every moment of everyday for us and will always be. 

xoxo, Tori. 

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